" BoJack : “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be."
" BoJack : “Fool me once, shame on you. But teach a man to fool me and I’ll be fooled for the rest of my life”
"Herb: You know what your problem is? You want to think of yourself as the good guy. Well, I know you better than anyone, and I can tell you that you're not. In fact, you'd probably sleep a lot better at night if you just admitted to yourself that you're a selfish goddamn coward who just takes whatever he wants and doesn't give a shit about who he hurts. That's you. That's BoJack Horseman."
"Mr. Peanutbutter : “Crack an egg on your head. Let the yolk drip down."
"Princess Carolyn: I got into this business because I love stories. They comfort us, they inspire us, they create a context for how we experience the world. But also, you have to be careful, because if you spend a lot of time with stories, you start to believe that life is just stories, and it's not. Life is life, and that's so sad because there's so little time and… what are we doing with it?"
" BoJack : “You are a horrible person, and you not understanding that you’re a horrible person, doesn’t make you less of a horrible person. "
"When you do bad things, you have something you can point to when people eventually leave you. It's not you, you tell yourself, it's that bad thing you did. Do you often keep people at arm's length? Are you afraid of being known and knowing others?"
"BoJack: My darling mother gave the eulogy. My entire life, I never heard her say a kind word to OR about my father, but at his funeral, she said, "My husband is dead, and everything is worse now."
"BoJack : “Settle. Because otherwise you’re just gonna get older and harder, and more alone. And you’re gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn’t get filled. One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.”
"He's probably just razzin' ya. But he's a good dog. All bark, no bite. Oh, sorry! That's a labrador expression. I guess in human terms it would be: he's all talk, no shooting you with an assault rifle."
“Do you ever get the feeling that to know you more is to love you less?"
" BoJack : “Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible. Everything is the worst."
"“Kelsey, in this terrifying world, all we have are the connections that we make. I’m sorry I got you fired, I’m sorry I never called you after.”"
" BoJack : “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how"
"It doesn't matter where you are, it's who you are, that's not gonna change whether you're in California or Maine or New Mexico. You know, you can't escape you""
"It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day —that’s the hard part. But it does get easier"
"Sextina Aquafina : “I think about my child’s heartbeat and oh, it makes me weep. I hope and pray to God my little fetus has a soul. Because I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my hole."
"BoJack : “Everyone loves you, but no one likes you"
"Beatrice: Don't throw your dreams away for this child. Don't let that man poison your life the way he did mine. You are going to finish your schooling and become a nurse. You'll meet a man, a good man, and you'll have a family, but please, believe me, you don't want this. Please, Henrietta, you have to believe me. Please…don't do what I did."
" Todd Chavez : “Things don’t become traditions because they’re good, BoJack, they become good because they’re traditions."
"Secretariat: BoJack, when I was your age, I got sad. A lot. I didn't come from such a great home, but one day, I started running, and that seemed to make sense, so then I just kept running. BoJack, when you get sad, you run straight ahead and you keep running forward, no matter what. There are people in your life who are gonna try to hold you back, slow you down, but you don't let them. Don't you stop running and don't you ever look behind you. There's nothing for you behind you. All that exists is what's ahead."
"I want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don't know how. I don't know if I can."
" BoJack : “It’s made up by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets. It’s like the happiness or the Munich Olympics, it doesn’t exist in the real world"
"BoJack : “I feel like my life is just a series of unrelated wacky adventure"
" BoJack : “Man, I really regret buying those muffins and then eating them all on the drive home. ""
"Diane: When I was a kid, I used to watch you on TV, and you know I didn't have the best family. Things weren't that great for me. But, for half an hour, every week, I got to watch this show about four people who had nobody, who came together and became a family, and for half an hour, every week, I had a home, and it helped me survive."
"Secretariat : ""When you get sad you run ,straight ahead and you keep running forward no matter what there are people in your life that who are going to try to hold you back , slow you down , but you don't let them. Don't you ever stop running, don't ever look behind you there is nothing for you behind you. All that exists is whats ahead."
"BoJack : “your girlfriend has a stripper name”
"BoJack : “Yeah, I ate them all in one sitting because I have no self-control and I hate myself"
"BoJack: I'm gonna say "Hello. I am BoJack Horseman. Obviously, you know who I am, because I'm very famous, and also because we called ahead. And I am here because… I need help.""
" Henry Winkler : “There is no shame in dying for nothing. That’s why most people die. "
"Princess Carolyn: Oh fish. Of course! Why would you ever make things easy for me when instead you could make things incredibly difficult. Laura! Clear our my schedule! I have to push a boulder up a hill and then have it roll over me time and time again with no regard for my well-being!"
"BoJack : Look, for a lot of people, life is just one long hard kick in the urethra"
"Mr. Peanutbutter: Sweetie, you know I support you, whatever you want to do, but you're not gonna find what you're looking for in these awful made-up places. The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead."
“Not understanding that you’re a horrible person doesn’t make you less of a horrible person.”
"“There has been another mass shooting. I am totally unqualified to cover a news story this important, but as a straight white male, I will plow forward with confidence and assume I’m doing fine!”"
" Fuzzy Whiskers : “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m happy for the first time in my life and I’m not gonna feel bad about it. It takes a long time to realise how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way. Only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy."
" Diane Nguyen ""“It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day. I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy? ‘ It just makes me more miserable. I don’t know If I believe in it, real lasting happiness, All those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and TV shows ? I don’t think they exist.
" Princess Carolyn: BoJack, I'm gonna level with you, honey. This whole you-hating-the-troops thing is not great.
"BoJack: I don't hate the troops, I just hate one specific troop. I don't even hate him, I just think he's wrong about the muffins."
"Mr. Peanutbutter : “The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn’t the search for meaning; it’s just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you’ll be dead."
"That voice, the one that tells you you're stupid, worthless, and ugly… it goes away right? It's just a dumb teenage girl thing, but… then it goes away?"", ""Yeah"""
"Mr. Peanutbutter : Everybody deserves to be loved"
"BoJack : “I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not."
" BoJack : “Not understanding that you’re a horrible person doesn’t make you less of a horrible person. ""
"BoJack: All I learned about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that's what love is."
" Princess Carolyn: So, are you available for Tuesday, or are you gonna be too busy masturbating to old pictures of yourself "
BoJack: I told you, that's not what was happening that time. I was masturbating to what the picture represented! You walked in at the worst possible moment."
"BoJack : “I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not."
" BoJack : "" I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! ""
" BoJack : “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone "
"BoJack : “I can’t say no to people because I want everyone to like me"
"BoJack: You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me and now it's all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late. …Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?"
"Beatrice: I just wanted to tell you that I know. I know you want to be happy, but you won't be… and I'm sorry.
Beatrice: It's not just you, you know. Your father and I, we, well… you come by it honestly, the ugliness inside you. You were born broken, that's your birthright. And now you can fill your life with projects your books and your movies and your little girlfriends but… that won't make you whole. You're BoJack Horseman. There's no cure for that."
"BoJack : “I have half a mind…"
" Wanda Pierce : “When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” "
"BoJack : “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be. I envy that"
" Princess Carolyn : ” BoJack, I’m gonna level with you, honey. This whole you-hating-the-troops thing is not great.”
"Princess Carolyn: Stop pissing off the orphans. A lot of them grow up to be serial killers."
" BoJack Horseman : “You sleep on my couch and you don’t pay rent. I’ve had tapeworms that are less parasitic. I don’t even remember why I let you stay with me in the first place. "
" BoJack : “Same thing that always happens. You didn’t know me and then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.”
" Princess Carolyn : “That woman can knock a drink back like a Kennedy at a wake for another Kennedy, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get shit done!"
" BoJack : “We’re just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less"
" Princess Carolyn : “Laura! Clear our my schedule! I have to push a boulder up a hill and then have it roll over me time and time again with no regard for my well-being!"
"BoJack : “Dead on the inside, dead on the outside"
" BoJack Horseman : “You know, soBoJack Horseman : “You know, somemetimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone. And I’ll never get it back in me. It’s too late. "
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